Jessica’s Story

I was 18. In a failing relationship and living far away from the place in which I grew up. I was trying to make it on my own and adjust to a new experience known as college. Better still, I found that I was pregnant. This news, to my Catholic finance and I, spelled disaster when you consider that we were barely getting by on our own. I mention the fact that one of us is Catholic, only to convey the immediate necessity to rectify the whole pregnant/unmarried/living with your finance` situation.

I am not trying to say that the choice to place our son was a quick fix, means to an end, or because one of those problems “had to go”. Quite the contrary, abortion was never ever an option for me, and I really did not know of any other venues we could explore. The only sort of “adoption” I heard of before was the ever so stereotypical closed adoption. The notion of having my child yanked from me at birth, and never seeing or hearing anything of them ever again was not something I would be able to accept. It just so happened that my finance` overheard some people talking about a rather new sort of adoption, called an “open adoption”. In this type, you are able to choose the family to place the child in, meet them and interview them, and have contact with them throughout the life of the child. I was not al all excited about the idea of not being able to raise my baby, however, this new option seemed much more appealing than any other that had been presented to me.

Next, we came across Catholic Social Services of the Miami Valley, and were assigned to an AMAZING pregnancy counselor, by the name of Robin. Through the entire situation, and for a long time afterwards, she was my rock. For so long I had to be strong for others, and was never able to let my guard down, or feel bad for myself. Robin let me do that. She was there for me in the darkest time of my life, got me through a kind of pain I never thought I could endure; for that, I am eternally grateful.

I was pleasantly surprised in the amount of control we had as birth parents, in determining where our baby would be placed. Also, I was impressed with the extensive medical history forms we had to fill out. It makes me rest easier knowing that my son’s adoptive family has those resources at their fingertips should the need arise. Meeting our adoptive couple was like meeting the people who would change my life. Instantly I knew they were the right people to raise my baby, and I’ve not regretted that choice since. They are my extended family, we have an unspoken bond that grows deeper with time. They love me, because I gave them the child they could not have. I love them because they are giving my child the life I wanted to but was not able to give.

The experience as a whole has made me grow as a person in ways I never thought possible. There have been many rough times, but also many rewarding. We see each other every year, and with the help of my new social workers, Laura and Bev, we are all working together to create the best kind of relationship to have with everyone involved. I am indebted to them all. Everyone I have interacted with since the birth of my son has been truly wonderful to me. I am not saying the decision to place will be an easy one, for it almost certainly will not be. It feels like dying, but you can take comfort in knowing that you gave your baby the best possible gift they could ever want in life. A good life in a loved home, there are so many empty, loving homes out there waiting for a child to make it complete. I miss my baby, of course, but I will never regret the decision of placing him where he is. I would be willing to bet that those others out there, faced with this difficult decision, would not either.

Jessica