Open – In an open adoption, there is contact between the birth family and adoptive family. Open adoption may include the birthparents participating in the selection of the family, meeting the family, and staying in touch over the years. This may include letters and pictures being exchanged, or even ongoing meetings. Both birthparents and adoptive parents are educated and counseled about how much openness is right for them. Both learn about the many ways that openness is beneficial to children. Both choose the amount of openness in their adoption planning.
Traditional – In a traditional adoption, only non-identifying social/medical information is shared about the birth family. There is no ongoing contact.
Identified – Personally arranged, or identified, adoptions occur when birthparents and adoptive parents find each other outside of the agency. They may know each other personally or be matched by an intermediary. These adoptions offer many benefits to both birthparents and adoptive parents. There is the reassurance that comes from knowing that each chose the other to develop a special adoption plan. The Beginnings staff can provide the counseling, education, and legal process for all parties to make this plan a reality.
Personal Testimonial
“My husband and I chose Catholic Social Services of the Miami Valley as our adoption agency because it was more professional, knowledgeable and thorough than any other agency we had investigated.
From our first encounter — the orientation for prospective adoptive parents — the agency workers were honest with us about what we’d be getting into. They explained the emotional risks of the adoption process. They told us how long we might have to wait to get chosen. And they explained the concept of open adoption and the trust and sacrifice it requires of adoptive and birth families.
CSSMV is concerned with two things above all others: doing what’s best for the children and covering the legal bases. These priorities make it easier for adoptive parents to open themselves up to this uncertain journey. And in the beginning, we were uncertain. We asked the same questions that all adoptive parents ask: Will we be able to love a child with whom we’re not genetically linked? What if the birth family wants the baby back? What if we never get picked? The CSS workers reassured us every step of the way that what we were feeling was normal and that they would be there to answer our questions and help ease our minds. And during the home study process, they did.
The home study was a long, enlightening series of group meetings as well as individual sessions with our adoption worker. In the groups, we discovered we weren’t the only ones who were nervous. In the meetings with our worker, my husband and I discovered more about our relationship, our thoughts on parenting and our feelings about adoption. Sometimes, the home study questions felt invasive. It’s not always easy to divulge personal history and feelings. But the workers are sensitive to that and are completely nonjudgmental.
As we were waiting for a birthmother to choose us to adopt her baby, we enjoyed the anticipation most of the time. It was hardest when we knew that a birthmother was reading our profile and deciding whether or not we were the right adoptive parents. But the in-between periods were pretty easy. We kept busy, too, doing all of the things — including going on vacation — that we would have done anyway. So time moved pretty quickly. As soon as Simon came home with us, time became a long, hazy stream. Newborns redefine night and day for everyone, and for at least three months, we existed on an average of four or five hours of sleep a night at the most.
But it was awesome. From his first hour, Simon has been an alert, curious baby with a distinct personality and a sense of humor. Those traits get more distinct as he grows, but the seeds were there. He’s content and can entertain himself, but he loves to interact with people, too. He also loves to eat, sit in his swing and watch his videos. And if he’s fussy, all we have to do is take him outside so that he can inspect the neighborhood and grab a few low-hanging tree leaves.
Adopting Simon has clarified our perspective on life. It’s put daily annoyances in their places. Watching him discover the world, listening to his pure laugh and seeing him smile with his whole face simplifies things, makes them easy to digest.
Along this whole path, Catholic Social Services has been our advocate, our sounding board, our reality check and our guide. We wouldn’t have taken this risk or been lucky enough to have Simon in our lives without it.”
Brian and Heather
Dayton, Ohio
Return to top
